Striving to pair up? We all eagerly want to and the eagerness sometimes seems to preclude Maslow’s hierarchy. For love and romance being such common drivers of the world, they do invite some meditation.
Are we truly vying for our own kind of companionship or our minds have been surreptitiously conditioned by movie-mush and happily ever after literature, where he and she conveniently become they.
Maybe , maybe not. But what seems to be the traditional “given” in this form of absolute awesomeness of love, are stringent laws. A code of conduct enforceable by emotional manipulation.
We pair up and allow for our own notions of loyalty, compromise and sacrifice determine the equation. Our companions are expected to execute a sea of changes : mundane habits and even wants and desires whether they be professional, social or sexual. In other words, all emotions real to a human are to be abandoned at that fictitious event of pairing up. We fall in love with free individuals but then expect them to shed their freedom and humanity. We on the other hand choose not to sacrifice or compromise our selfish insecurities.
Individual sacrifice is unquestionably awesome. But so is humility. So can we truly, unflinchingly give ourselves the power to take away the very emotions that make our partners who they are?
We all have a sprinkle of selfish within us. Maybe that too is an indelible part. So how does this hard to digest bitter pill entirely lacking in roughage help us? Take for instance, a sleepy employee. Unwritten tenets of professionalism dictate that one ought not to sleep at work.Translation: general unhappiness. But by allowing that natural human need, one would end up with a fresher, more active and efficient worker. Similarly, by allowing our companions their freedom to satisfy their humanity, we ensure their happiness. Would we not want a happy companion over a disgruntled one. A companion that would be loyal (for the true spiritual sense of the word) out of love and happiness and not out of baseless relationship norms?
At this point, one would raise certain objections. It is easy to make logic sound absurd by extrapolation. One would be tempted to express that even psychopaths hold “genuine emotions”” of murder and hence allowing for that expression would allow for their general happiness . But we are talking about more benign feelings here, those that are natural to a common individual with a lesser want for blood.
So for all that is called selfless love, we quite easily give to ourselves the right to restraint another being, devoid them of feelings and thoughts. Evidently, counterproductive!
Let’s give liberty a shot. Let our companions be the way they are, do what they want, live their lives as they desire. They are their own individuals with their own bodies and souls. We can own none. Wouldn’t we want a happier soul to give us company in the already arduous journey?
Worst case scenario, they would want to move away. But raise a cheers to that freedom, rather than living in a relationship with guised happiness. When we are at peace with our companions, where we feel free and light with them, other mundane concerns matter no longer.
Try it..it may just work!!